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To quit or not to quit...

I have worked at the Container store for 2 years. It is a pretty good job, especially for retail. I really enjoy the people and their policies are pretty worker-friendly. But, as my husband pointed out, I get really freaked out about any job that I have after about 2 years. After he said this to me, I thought about it, and it is true. I have kept most jobs for about 2 years and then I move on. Some of them have been a little longer, some a little shorter, but the average is two years.
Here is my problem...
I really want to go back to school. I have always really wanted to be a doctor. I pondered the idea of becoming a nurse midwife instead, but that would take me just about the same amount of time as becoming a m.d. or a d.o.
So, I will need to go finish a bunch of pre-requisite classes (I was not a science major - my degree is in Economics). This will take about 2 years (about 9-12 credit hours per semester) This would put me on the med school application mill in the Fall of 2007 - I will be 40 years old. Now, the age is not the problem, the coursework is really not the problem either, I am afraid that I will get bored. I am afraid that my 2 year model will apply and I will not want to continue with school, or worse, that I will get through med school and then decide I don't want to practice as a doctor for more than 2 years. I am sure my husband has the same fear and that is why he pointed out my history to me. How can I resolve this? My crystal ball is in the shop and one thing I have learned with age is to be more realistic (not totally realistic mind you).
I feel this career change in my gut, not in my logical mind. Is risk taking of this magnitude really smart at my age? Would this be detriment for my family? Would my kids suffer?
Still thinking...

So anyway - here is the crossroad - My boss needs to know my availablity for working - the new schedule will be from July to November. Should I take the plunge and quit now so I will be ready to go to school in August? Should I compromise and work as an on-call person, getting in about 2 shifts a month? Should I work 12 or so hours a week and then work school around that? Will working there more than 2 years prove that I can do it? Are there other issues? Arghhhhhhh.

How can the summer be gone already?

I have been looking at my calendar this morning and I am depressed. My kids have had rolling school end dates this year - my oldest was out the Thursday before memorial day and finally this Friday my daughter will be done. So, being the procrastinator that I am I decided to think about planning a summer vacation. Crap! There are a total of 8 weekends in our summer break and we already have obligations on 6 of them. I can only find one week where all five of us have an almost free schedule and it is the week before the first kid goes back to school. I hate that - I always want the last week of summer break to be "school prep" week (go to bed a little earlier, get routines back in order, start waking up before 8am, etc...) Where has it gone, will I ever go on vacation again? or am I doomed to the stay-at-home-mom plight of never straying too far from home.

I looked into a couple of vacation ideas and found that to be completely depressing as well -
1. Disney World will cost as much as a week long vacation to Europe
2. Travelling around Colorado (although beautiful and the envy of many) is getting really old after about 35 years of doing so...
3.Flying to New Jersey to visit a new baby in the family seems to be necessary, but not terribly FUN.

Maybe we should just get in the car and drive - Canada has nice summers - but now my kids need passports to get back into the US. ARGHHHH....

Give me a break

Oh and have I mentioned that I really miss travelling? Even though travelling for work was sometimes a bummer, It was always exciting to get on an airplane and go somewhere. Did I mention that my husband is in Slovenia this week? He has averaged a trip and a half per month since January (albeit most of the trips have been to exciting places like Dallas) and that means he has spent the night somewhere other than home, seen new places, met new people, etc... And here I sit Blogging.

Crap.

I am stuck

Been thinking about the blog for days, wanting to write - lots on my mind.
I am blank - can't get the fingers to type...
ARGHHHHHHHHH

Am I insane?

My last post was all about me being a killer of living things...
Yesterday I put $200 down on a dog. I am about to enter dog-mommyhood.
I am totally crazy, I have three kids, a messy house, a scattered brain and now I am adding an 8 week old puppy.

We are getting a Goldendoodle - a cross between a Golden Retriever and a Standard Poodle. They shed less than a Golden and have very sweet dispositions. Is that enough? I am confident I will love the dog, I am confident the kids will love the dog. I will have to learn to be a good trainer and hope the dog will adapt to our family.

I have jumped in (can you say compulsive?) - so let's get ready for an adventure!

My atomic thumb...

I kill plants.
This is a fact. I cannot for the life of me keep them alive. I currently have a total of five plants in my home. They reside in the window by the kitchen sink. This means they have lots of sunshine and it is VERY easy to water them. Alas, they are dying. I have also had very poor luck with pets. Currently we have three fish. They are currently doing alright, but their predecessors have all died. We had a betta fish who died of some weird disease that caused a huge belly tumor(we actually froze our fish and did an autopsy after he died). Three hermit crabs - lived for three months. We are seriously considering getting a dog. I am petrified.

Arghhhhhhhh!

My issues with Wally...

I am really annoyed this morning. I have to go buy a present for a 6 year old and I have put it off to the last minute. It is early and I am afraid that Wal-Mart is the only place open. Now your thinking, what is wrong with that? cheap toys, open 24hrs, no problem. But I can't do it. I refuse to shop at Wally world - They pay their workers crap. They force their suppliers to reduce their prices so much that they must manufacture overseas. They make small business go out of business all over america. The list goes on and on.

So now at 7:30 in the morning, where should I shop? The grocery store? At least they are unionized. What about Target - probably not much better than Wal-Mart, but somehow I feel a little better about them and maybe they open by 9a.

So this is what I get for being a procrastinator. I could have gone to the local toy store yesterday, but alas here I am on d-day with no present.

Guess I better hop in my super gas guzzler by myself (and be a total hypocrite by continuing our dependence on foriegn oil) and drive around town to find something open besides Wal-Mart.

Oh the stuff I can beat my self up about...